Last Saturday, after 12 years of faithfully staying in the Chinese and American education systems, I graduated with the highest honors from Bellaire High School. The ceremonious flip of our tassels from right to left signaled other turn-overs as well. It marked the beginning of adulthood and greater independence. It foreshadowed the making of new friends as old faded into the background. I could finally get my own credit card! I could apply for part-time jobs and receive some spending money! I could dye my hair! I could get my ears pierced! I could do whatever I want and nobody could stop me (well, officially I’m not legal for another two months or so, but these sensations were close enough to the real thing)! F-R-E-E-D-O-M!
What good is freedom when the soul is barren?
What good is sleep when death has fallen?
What good is guilt when blood has been spilt?
The clock strikes three.
What good is screaming when no one hears?
What good is love when the heart isn’t there?
What good is warning too little too late?
The clock strikes six.
Why is it that our human condition always seeks that which we do not have and that which we cannot have? The forbidden fruit dictating Adam and Eve’s fate, illicit love affairs conducted while boring partners are left behind, or how much I pined for the start of the new semester while on winter break and how much I pine for summer vacation now that school has resumed. I sat around for the duration of two weeks, agonizing over my unfortunate prospect as a couch potato, even preferring homework over the current state of affairs. Nothing will come of nothing, but now that busy work fills up my time again, I am willing to do anything to return to that boredom.
Yay it’s that time of the year again – fireworks, crayfish, and celebrating with friends and family under banners of red, white, and blue. 238 years ago, our Founding Fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, proclaiming freedom and liberty for the constituents of our great nation (Mental note to shelf this somewhere for later use as an introduction for a government essay).
I know I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been busy as of late, volunteering and doing research during the weekdays while trying to catch up on my online AP government course. Eep AP scores come out in 2 days (not that I’m that worried… I think I did fine on the exams)!
I’m also packing for my Japanese trip and I realized that I literally have no skirts that fit me anymore. They’re all too short for the conservative standards present in Japan since I’ve grown quite a bit since freshmen year and I haven’t really bought any new skirts since then. Time to go shopping before I leave in a couple of days! Well that’s all for now folks. I’ll make sure to post about all the exciting details of the Japanese trip when I return.
So I think my self-discovery journey has come to a conclusion for now. I could have prolonged it much longer, but I think I understand myself much more now. However, that’s not to say that the final destination has been reached. The end result is never definite; there are a million other angles to dig at my inner core from the surface and each time, the results alter what has already been established.
Since it’s summer, I have a lot of free time on my hands and blogging/writing down things in my journal have been instrumental in creating motivation for me to do anything at all. Besides the self-discovery journey, I have found true happiness for the first time in a long time. This morning I woke up feeling refreshed and blissful after doing meditation, some crunches, and yoga. These exercises (combined with a happy mantra) cleared my mind of excessively negative thoughts and boosted my self-esteem. I can’t believe that I haven’t been doing this on a daily basis, simply because of the amount of work I am motivated to do now as well as the happiness which I haven’t felt in years. Confident, sassy, independent, and free. That’s how I feel right now.
What activities set your soul on fire? What do you love to do?
Since I was little, art has been an integral part of my life. I don’t know where I would be without the countless hours spent doodling away, without the feeling of a brush in my hand, without the ability to construct an aesthetically pleasing masterpiece from a blank canvas. Art has provided me refuge in difficult times and it has helped me become a more creative and imaginative person.
Singing is just a hobby of mine but I’m not necessarily a good singer. I just really enjoy singing along to mainstream pop songs that come on the radio and other genres (ex: R&B, Latino pop, etc). It’s hard to put into words the feelings that songs and music give me, but it’s almost like I’m transported to another time and place and I just lose myself in the moment.
This post marks Day 2 of my self-discovery experience.
What would your perfect day look like? Describe every detail.
I actually don’t see too big of a difference between this question and the last, but I suppose this prompt is asking for a more detailed outline of an ideal day for me. I’d wake up feeling refreshed in the morning in an opulent bed and do some morning stretches. After that, I would meditate/do yoga or pilates for a while to squeeze some serenity into my hectic life and then go shower. I would proceed to eat a hearty breakfast (consisting of a healthy smoothie and Greek yogurt) and either go biking or walk the dog (pomeranian/golden retriever) while taking in the sunlight.